ONCE A HOUSE
Once a House
by Carrie Karnes-Fannin
She'd once been a house,
but that was long ago. She remembered
what it was like.
piled like cordwood ahead of winter snows
For at her heart
were the trees.
people called them,
turning the black forest
into boards and rafters
those they’ve sheltered.
Chicks under the eaves
with broken shells clinging
to their damp heads.
Mice and their hidden highways
between golden paneled walls.
A girl’s laughter ringing in the hall,
and through the years.
she’d loved them all
the wood reclaimed her
as its own,
time dripped down
leafy crowns bathed by crystal rains
fed the tender roots
that coursed through cracks
twisting turning tasting
and drank deep from her well
A thousand dappled suns
kissed her ruined walls,
among the saplings.
she loved them still
under a frosty blanket,
her bones slept
yellow orange red
drifting falling dreaming
once-and-future girl climbed,
who used to be a home,
and would always
10/1/2021 07:25:42 am
Beautiful writing, Carrie. I love this so much! Congrats on this piece! Good luck. Rosanna
10/1/2021 12:53:14 pm
Thank you, Rosanna! Good luck with your piece as well.
10/1/2021 08:27:37 am
What a stunning work, Carrie. I hope this ends up in print somewhere. I really enjoyed your word choice, just lovely.
10/1/2021 12:52:45 pm
Thank you, Melisa! Wouldn't it be wonderful to see it published?
10/1/2021 08:31:16 am
This is stunning. What beautiful language. Well done.
10/1/2021 08:40:10 am
This is just gorgeously written, Carrie. The judges will love this one!
10/1/2021 01:02:28 pm
Thank you!! Here's hoping...
10/1/2021 09:02:07 am
Beautiful writing - and thank you for sharing the info about the chapel too!
10/1/2021 12:54:39 pm
The chapel & castle have SO much interesting history behind them. They're kind of a treasure trove for more stories.
10/1/2021 09:02:33 am
I love your word choice and use of language.
10/1/2021 09:42:30 am
Gorgeous writing! I especially loved this stanza:
10/1/2021 12:55:26 pm
Thank you! That image of the trees & their never forgetting was one of the earliest sparks in finding the story.
10/1/2021 09:52:23 am
I love that you found the origins of this picture! That adds so much! Beautiful story!
10/1/2021 01:02:03 pm
Reading about the history behind the photo took me down quite a rabbit hole of research! It was hard to pull out of as I *really* wanted to make this a non-fiction piece.
10/1/2021 09:55:48 am
This is so beautiful, Carrie! I'm blown away.
10/1/2021 12:56:00 pm
Thank you, Mariana! That means a lot coming from a talented writer like yourself.
10/1/2021 10:02:40 am
I really love the cadence of this piece. Great job!
10/1/2021 12:59:57 pm
Thank you, Erica! (And I want to tell you that I love the word "cadence." It is delicious to say out loud.)
10/1/2021 10:31:03 am
This tender story evoked so many of my own lost memories and moved me to tears. A fitting ode to the fall season!
10/1/2021 12:57:46 pm
Aww, Carmela...I don't know what to say. Now my eyes are leaking.
Annette Y Hashitate
10/1/2021 10:44:58 am
Your poetry always moves me - lovely!
10/1/2021 12:52:20 pm
Gorgeous, Carrie! I especially melted at "A thousand dappled suns
10/1/2021 12:59:01 pm
Thank you, Bonnie! Don't you love the afternoon sun hitting the trees, especially during fall? <3 I'm glad that you enjoyed the poem.
10/1/2021 01:12:45 pm
So beautiful, Carrie! You really nailed the beauty and nostalgia of ruins.
10/1/2021 02:10:32 pm
Gorgeous writing, Carrie. Love your use of language. Good luck!
10/1/2021 05:09:12 pm
Beautiful! Love how the reverse lookup inspired your lovely piece.
10/1/2021 05:45:03 pm
I love the way the history of the building inspired you, Carrie. Your diction is fantastic and soothing to read. An exquisite piece of writing!
10/1/2021 06:54:21 pm
Thank you so much!
10/1/2021 06:20:15 pm
This is such a beautiful poem. Personifying the house makes it feel so personal to me.
10/1/2021 07:10:29 pm
"Time dripped down, slowly, slowly." This line stopped me in my tracks. Such beautiful imagery painted with beautiful language. Thank you.
10/1/2021 07:28:24 pm
Thank you for reading & taking the time to comment. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece. I loved the images that bubbled up in my mind with this prompt.
10/1/2021 07:41:08 pm
Lovely, lyrical word imagery. It was strange to read your story as it's so akin to my present thoughts of my childhood home. You've created a mood and it spoke to me. Good luck!
10/2/2021 12:24:05 am
The exquisite imagery and finely honed details of this poignant lyrical piece evoke a timeless sense of place.
10/3/2021 07:39:32 pm
What a beautiful compliment! I'm glad you enjoyed it, Anne.
10/2/2021 01:30:00 pm
Thank you, Sandhya!
10/2/2021 07:33:16 am
Gorgeous, evocative language, Carrie and unique perspective. The formatting adds to the mystical feel.
10/2/2021 10:22:27 am
Beautiful piece of writing! Lovely lyrical imagery. Good luck!
10/2/2021 08:15:40 pm
Wow! Love your beautiful language! So very poetic! Good luck to you!
10/3/2021 07:38:47 pm
Thank you, Molly!
10/2/2021 08:55:03 pm
So beautifully told, Carrie! I love that the style forced me to slow in my reading and really soak up the gorgeous storytelling <3
10/6/2021 05:35:05 pm
Thank you, Melissa.
10/4/2021 11:44:20 am
What wonderful imagery!
10/4/2021 11:47:43 am
Beautiful, evocative language! Well done!
10/5/2021 01:36:18 pm
Beautifully written. I always look forward to reading your contest entry. Good luck!
10/6/2021 05:34:39 pm
Awww...that's such a wonderful compliment. Thank you, Karen!
10/6/2021 05:34:02 pm
It's definitely been interesting to read the wildly different directions so many went with the exact same prompt. Love seeing how people's minds work.
10/11/2021 09:16:07 am
Beautiful writing! I love how you delved deeper into the history behind the picture and shared it, too. Your story - while stylistically different - reminded me of one of my all-time favorites: The Little House by Virginia Lee Burton. Thanks for evoking a happy memory and creating a lovely new one!
10/13/2021 02:20:27 pm
Beautiful piece, Carrie! This has great cadence and I loved your passage of time. Well done! Erin
10/18/2021 05:05:55 am
Time is one of those tricky elements to get "just so" in a story, so I really appreciate hearing that, Erin.
10/17/2021 10:08:43 pm
Oh my goodness, this is just gorgeous!!! There are too many lines that I love to quote one here. Amazing!
10/18/2021 05:03:34 am
Thank you, Stephanie!
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