Once a House
by Carrie Karnes-Fannin (177 words) She was once a house, but that was long ago. She remembered what it was like. seasons stacked memories, piled like cordwood ahead of winter snows For at her heart were the trees. timbers people called them, turning the black forest into boards and rafters And trees never forget those they’ve sheltered. Chicks under the eaves with broken shells clinging to their damp heads. Mice and their hidden highways between golden paneled walls. A girl’s laughter ringing in the hall, and through the years. she’d loved them all But, the wood reclaimed her as its own, while time dripped down slowly slowly leafy crowns bathed by crystal rains fed the tender roots that coursed through cracks twisting turning tasting and drank deep from her well of memories. A thousand dappled suns kissed her ruined walls, casting shadows among the saplings. she loved them still Now under a frosty blanket, her bones slept yellow orange red drifting falling dreaming as the once-and-future girl climbed, ascending echoes of the house who used to be a home, and would always remember.
55 Comments
10/1/2021 07:25:42 am
Beautiful writing, Carrie. I love this so much! Congrats on this piece! Good luck. Rosanna
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/1/2021 12:53:14 pm
Thank you, Rosanna! Good luck with your piece as well.
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10/1/2021 08:27:37 am
What a stunning work, Carrie. I hope this ends up in print somewhere. I really enjoyed your word choice, just lovely.
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/1/2021 12:52:45 pm
Thank you, Melisa! Wouldn't it be wonderful to see it published?
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10/1/2021 08:31:16 am
This is stunning. What beautiful language. Well done.
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Allison Strick
10/1/2021 08:40:10 am
This is just gorgeously written, Carrie. The judges will love this one!
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/1/2021 01:02:28 pm
Thank you!! Here's hoping...
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Catrine Kyster
10/1/2021 09:02:07 am
Beautiful writing - and thank you for sharing the info about the chapel too!
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/1/2021 12:54:39 pm
The chapel & castle have SO much interesting history behind them. They're kind of a treasure trove for more stories.
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10/1/2021 09:42:30 am
Gorgeous writing! I especially loved this stanza:
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/1/2021 12:55:26 pm
Thank you! That image of the trees & their never forgetting was one of the earliest sparks in finding the story.
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Danielle
10/1/2021 09:52:23 am
I love that you found the origins of this picture! That adds so much! Beautiful story!
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/1/2021 01:02:03 pm
Reading about the history behind the photo took me down quite a rabbit hole of research! It was hard to pull out of as I *really* wanted to make this a non-fiction piece.
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Mariana Llanos
10/1/2021 09:55:48 am
This is so beautiful, Carrie! I'm blown away.
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/1/2021 12:56:00 pm
Thank you, Mariana! That means a lot coming from a talented writer like yourself.
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/1/2021 12:59:57 pm
Thank you, Erica! (And I want to tell you that I love the word "cadence." It is delicious to say out loud.)
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10/1/2021 10:31:03 am
This tender story evoked so many of my own lost memories and moved me to tears. A fitting ode to the fall season!
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/1/2021 12:57:46 pm
Aww, Carmela...I don't know what to say. Now my eyes are leaking.
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Annette Y Hashitate
10/1/2021 10:44:58 am
Your poetry always moves me - lovely!
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10/1/2021 12:52:20 pm
Gorgeous, Carrie! I especially melted at "A thousand dappled suns
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/1/2021 12:59:01 pm
Thank you, Bonnie! Don't you love the afternoon sun hitting the trees, especially during fall? <3 I'm glad that you enjoyed the poem.
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10/1/2021 01:12:45 pm
So beautiful, Carrie! You really nailed the beauty and nostalgia of ruins.
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Melanie Singer
10/1/2021 02:10:32 pm
Gorgeous writing, Carrie. Love your use of language. Good luck!
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10/1/2021 05:09:12 pm
Beautiful! Love how the reverse lookup inspired your lovely piece.
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Jill Lambert
10/1/2021 05:45:03 pm
I love the way the history of the building inspired you, Carrie. Your diction is fantastic and soothing to read. An exquisite piece of writing!
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/1/2021 06:54:21 pm
Thank you so much!
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Stephanie Maksymiw
10/1/2021 06:20:15 pm
This is such a beautiful poem. Personifying the house makes it feel so personal to me.
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10/1/2021 07:10:29 pm
"Time dripped down, slowly, slowly." This line stopped me in my tracks. Such beautiful imagery painted with beautiful language. Thank you.
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/1/2021 07:28:24 pm
Thank you for reading & taking the time to comment. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece. I loved the images that bubbled up in my mind with this prompt.
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10/1/2021 07:41:08 pm
Lovely, lyrical word imagery. It was strange to read your story as it's so akin to my present thoughts of my childhood home. You've created a mood and it spoke to me. Good luck!
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Anne Lipton
10/2/2021 12:24:05 am
The exquisite imagery and finely honed details of this poignant lyrical piece evoke a timeless sense of place.
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/3/2021 07:39:32 pm
What a beautiful compliment! I'm glad you enjoyed it, Anne.
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/2/2021 01:30:00 pm
Thank you, Sandhya!
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Shannon Nelsen
10/2/2021 07:33:16 am
Gorgeous, evocative language, Carrie and unique perspective. The formatting adds to the mystical feel.
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10/2/2021 10:22:27 am
Beautiful piece of writing! Lovely lyrical imagery. Good luck!
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Molly
10/2/2021 08:15:40 pm
Wow! Love your beautiful language! So very poetic! Good luck to you!
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/3/2021 07:38:47 pm
Thank you, Molly!
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10/2/2021 08:55:03 pm
So beautifully told, Carrie! I love that the style forced me to slow in my reading and really soak up the gorgeous storytelling <3
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/6/2021 05:35:05 pm
Thank you, Melissa.
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10/5/2021 01:36:18 pm
Beautifully written. I always look forward to reading your contest entry. Good luck!
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/6/2021 05:34:39 pm
Awww...that's such a wonderful compliment. Thank you, Karen!
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/6/2021 05:34:02 pm
It's definitely been interesting to read the wildly different directions so many went with the exact same prompt. Love seeing how people's minds work.
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Carrie Boone
10/11/2021 09:16:07 am
Beautiful writing! I love how you delved deeper into the history behind the picture and shared it, too. Your story - while stylistically different - reminded me of one of my all-time favorites: The Little House by Virginia Lee Burton. Thanks for evoking a happy memory and creating a lovely new one!
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Erin Matzen
10/13/2021 02:20:27 pm
Beautiful piece, Carrie! This has great cadence and I loved your passage of time. Well done! Erin
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/18/2021 05:05:55 am
Time is one of those tricky elements to get "just so" in a story, so I really appreciate hearing that, Erin.
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10/17/2021 10:08:43 pm
Oh my goodness, this is just gorgeous!!! There are too many lines that I love to quote one here. Amazing!
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/18/2021 05:03:34 am
Thank you, Stephanie!
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