RED On a new moon night in an ancient wood, Rose, a red shadow of a girl, slipped between trees and spread her hood on the damp ground, waiting for Lupe, who ran with a wolf’s silence through the forest toward her. "People will talk," Rose whispered. "Let them," Lupe replied, her dark hair a shining tangle weaving them together. "We don't have to." And Lupe was right-- no words were needed between them. Night passed as they held hands, and watched stars spin round the sky. When morning was still a rumor, a huntsman, tracking deer, found instead Rose and Lupe, asleep, wrapped in the scarlet cloak. Rose's heart skipped as Lupe leapt to shield her. "What will you do?" Lupe demanded of him, knowing Rose was afraid of her village’s words biting and cutting them. "I will keep your secret," the boy offered. For though a hunter, he wasn't cruel. “Thank you, friend,” Rose replied, borrowing bravery from Lupe’s kisses. "But there's no secret here." They walked homeward, with fingers entwined. A crowd gathered, but no words were said, except one: “Welcome.” For people saw, shining like the full moon, a love that would become legend. (197 words, inspired by photo #6)
20 Comments
10/1/2020 03:25:05 pm
This was so creative, Carrie. Loved the tension! Congrats and good luck.
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/1/2020 03:28:59 pm
Thank you for stopping by & taking the time to read, Rosanna.
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Sara Fajardo
10/1/2020 04:48:28 pm
Gorgeous Carrie, I can't help but feel there is so much more to this story. You might just have to consider a YA in verse!
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/1/2020 06:00:30 pm
Wow, thank you! That is something to mull a bit.
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Charlotte Dixon
10/1/2020 05:17:19 pm
Suspense and tension wrapped me around your story. Well done! Good luck!
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/1/2020 06:01:05 pm
Thank you very much, Charlotte.
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Kathy Halsey
10/2/2020 08:51:00 am
Oh, Carrie, love how you wove the elements of fairy tale into a love story for today. Beautiful writing and heart. Excellent.
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10/2/2020 07:34:36 pm
So much to love about this story! The excellent twist on an old tale, the way love makes them brave, and the amazing verb choices throughout! Gorgeous story!
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10/2/2020 11:55:15 pm
This is beautiful and unexpected. I enjoyed reading it, Carrie!
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10/3/2020 01:07:01 am
This was so well done, Carrie. I truly enjoyed it! Good luck in the contest:)
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Mona Pease
10/3/2020 11:28:33 am
Oh my gosh Carrie, I love the way your mind creatively untangles thoughts into a beautiful story.You are gifted.
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/17/2020 07:39:52 am
Thank you, Ms. Mona. Your support means a lot.
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/17/2020 07:39:13 am
Thank you so much for reading & commenting. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
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Anne Lipton
10/4/2020 01:29:43 am
Such a rich and provocative fairy tale retelling in so few words. I loved the lush details and description, especially how Lupe and Red watched "the stars spin round in the sky" and then fell asleep wrapped in her scarlet cloak. And the ending—"a love that would become legend"—is simply glorious.
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/6/2020 06:52:47 pm
Thank you so much, Ms. Anne!
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10/15/2020 12:08:05 am
This is so beautiful! Thank you for sharing this lovely story that made me read up with the fall writing frenzy!
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Carrie Karnes-Fannin
10/15/2020 08:04:21 am
Thank you, Kaitlyn! That means a lot coming from you.
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